The first time I kissed someone, she was a girl ❤️ I was so young, I didn't really know the difference or think much about gender roles. We played house and pretended to be in love for years. I continued to have close, childhood romances with girls and boys well into grade school.

I went to catholic school until highschool so naturally they taught us nothing about sex let alone anything not heteronormative. But still, living in my childhood suburban bubble I didn't really think about it much. My friends liked boys, so I liked boys too. It wasn't until highschool -good ol gay friendly Lakewood high 😅- that I learned words like bisexual and queer... There were girls in highschool that called themselves lesbians, and suddenly I realized that I also belonged somewhere on the other end of the sexuality spectrum.

For whatever reason, relationships with boys always seemed predominant in my life. Maybe it was the subtle hints of homophobia, and the general expectation for "pretty, feminine girls" to be straight -but even I didn't take my feelings for girls seriously.

Kapotasana and I have an interesting relationship. Presenting herself as the first real neurological awakening for me in my yoga practice. Requiring such inner focus and awareness, it was here, that I really started learning what it meant to stay in your breath. There is a good amount of discomfort for me when I work this posture -and yet I find myself craving the challenge. Whatever your struggle pose may be, there comes a point where you find space, expansion, and clarity that wasn't there before. Time is suddenly limitless and there is only you and your breath. Physical sensations attempt to pull you back to the earth plane, but if you stay focused on the breath you can linger in that state of nothingness for just a while longer...

Let it be heavy… My teacher said this to me recently as I exhaled toward my heels, knowing that this is the moment of truth - “No Man’s Land”, as Taylor Hunt says… Hovering in the discomfort, can you find connection? Can you stay in the depth of it a bit longer? Letting it be so heavyyyy….